Stumbling headfirst

I sit here this morning, a sense of anxiety about my future whispering in my ear. 'You'll fail...you'll fail!' she says. The raging dragon in me, my stubborn, tempestuous, inner self too long quashed down, is roaring 'YOU'VE GOT THIS, YOU WILL SUCCEED!!'

It has finally gotten through my skull, that I have OPTIONS for more than just retail work! I've been speaking to people in financial aid programs, considering both vocational training, and starting college courses again. I'm still not certain of what I'd like to, or should do but...I'm gonna do it! The practical person in me says I should go for something like a CNA; Something in a female rich field, that's easier and faster for women to get into. The stubborn woman in me, who has long enjoyed dancing to the beat of her own drum says, 'Do something in a traditionally male dominated field, kick rear, and be smug when you succeed!' One of the things I would like to do is become a proof-reader, and editor. That is a definite for me, I will take a course to help me succeed in that as a sub-career I suppose one might say. Something to do in spare time, as a supplement to standard income. As far as for a standard career path, I'm not sure yet. I enjoy doing many things, mostly working with my hands and creating, or building and repairing. Art -especially sculpture- is a true passion for me, my soul sings when I have a piece of clay in my hands. I should also probably take business and finances courses, just for my own personal education. Whatever I settle on, I want to better my position in life, for my kids and myself. I want to be able to carry my own weight, and stop depending on a man to take care of me as I've done in the past. Along with the college and vocational courses, I will continue muddling my way through courses on khanacademy and Alison. I learn best from hearing or seeing something multiple ways, so doing college, vocational, and the free online courses will help me learn these things best. I'm sick of stumbling my way through life, and want to fly strong, like the dragon my mother says I am.

With love, The Dragon.